After reading some of the articles due for today I started to wonder how influential the parents of the teen parents are. In one of the readings it talked about the pressure that mothers of the teen mothers receive when their child is pregnant. These mothers feel like they failed society by their child getting pregnant young. When, they did not have that much control in the situation. I do see that parents do have an impact and their parenting or behaviors can lead to their children adopting that behavior or not. But I don’t know to what extent parents actually can influence their child to do/not do certain things. I think there are so many environmental factors that it is very hard to tell what really allowed or caused children to do drugs, drink, get pregnant, drop out of school, etc. What do you think? Do parents have a clear cut ability to create little angels instead of devils? What other factors do you think play a role in influencing kids in their behavior? The problem is even though there are social influences, parents, mom’s especially, are blamed for their child’s behavior. Mom’s then have to pick up the slack when their children continue to go down a different path. Take Janelle’s mom for example. Now, I haven’t seen all the episodes but correct me if I am wrong she takes custody of the baby since Janelle doesn’t want to become responsible. Do you think that her mom just felt like she had to do that since her daughter didn’t want to? What if she told Janelle that she needed to put the child up for adoption or foster care? Would that have been as acceptable or would that be skipping out of her responsibilities as a grandma? I mean I see her being responsible in the sense that she is totally taking care of the kid, but I would almost tell my daughter she needs to move out of the house if she is going to continue to live an irresponsible life. Because the baby is still going to watch his mom go out and party if she is in the house. What do you think you would do? Don’t get me wrong I don’t think that women should have to be mothers if they don’t want to, but do the responsible thing and choose another option. I mean legally, there are 3 options when a woman/girl gets pregnant. Pregnancy isn’t just some thing that is flippantly thrown around. I know I have been focusing on mothers and daughters mainly but now I want to switch to fathers.
What influence do you think fathers could play in teaching their daughters or sons about pregnancy, sexual health, etc? The hard part from the shows I have watched in 16 & Pregnant most of the dads are absent or don’t saying anything. In the article about fatherhood in South Africa most of the time the fathers, uncles, grandfathers, were there as financial support or negotiating power for damages toward the girls family. This falls into the whole patriarchal standard of financially supporting and nothing else. Similar to what Jennifer Beggs Weber was saying masculinity and fatherhood are dichotomous entities and they don’t work well together. Boys, men, don’t get training on how to be good fathers or what the best thing to do when their partner is pregnant. I would say that masculinity has been so engrained in out culture that good representations of fatherhood are very slowly rising to be visible. But I think there is a lot more progress that needs to be made. What do you think could change to make fatherhood more acceptable? I don’t really know what fathers actually tell their boys about fatherhood but I remember boys in high school saying their dads would say “always wear a condom, because you never know” or when the girl was pregnant “step up be a man”. But what does “step up be a man” even really mean? I still think that men think as long as they financially take care of their child then everything is ok. But people need emotional, physical, financial support when parenting. As the old saying goes “it is the hardest job you will ever have.” Do you think fathers of the young fathers could do better in teaching their boys how to be better dads? Or do you think that society needs to start somewhere else? Do you think more pressure needs to be put on the men of the world to change the difficulty these, grandparents, mothers, etc. have in taking care of these children. Do think that the only way things will change is if more women just simply say “I do not want to take care of this child, you take her/him!” Will men then finally realize how hard parenting is?
Maegen Hahn
Maegen Hahn
I believe the lifestyle you let your child experience ranging from the people they grow up around to the type of school you let them attend has much to do with how they will turn out later in life and what they will get involved in. If Janell's mother put her son Chase up for adoption i believe Janell would not have had a choice but to step up to the plate and take care of her son. I felt like she cared enough not to get an abortion in the beginning so she would not. dare put him up for adoption. Fathers should most importantly take some type of action in their teens life when it comes to sexual education. Whether if the teen decides to be sexually active or not either way they could be educated on precautions they they should take and know facts that will keep them safe and prevent such issues like pregnancy at a young age. Society has shaped the saying "step up and be a man" as something men consider doing their part. A man doing what is considered acceptable and taking care of his responsibilities. Fathers of the young fathers can be more active in their teens life when it comes to educating them about sex. More steps should be taken to prevent this trend from happening.I believe men wil understand how hard it is if they were left with the child twenty four seven. They would be the only care provider for that child and will experience how much is put on the mother's shoulders and realize it really is the hardest job anyone can do.
ReplyDeleteVictoria H.
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ReplyDeleteI feel as though the lifestyle a parent lives has a major impact on a child's behavior. Parents have far more control over their children then they actually realize. Although children will rebel, it is the sole responsibility of the parent to do just that, PARENT their child instead of being their friend. Being a parent is not about being fair or compromising until a certain age is reached when a child is absolutely held responsible for their own actions. Outside influences such as friends, drugs and alcohol can be monitored, not completely but the parents have the authority to let the child know what is permissible and what is not. if they choose to go against these standards they must face the consequences, such as pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteTeenage pregnancy is gendered in the sense that the female, mother and grandmother face the stigmatization that teen pregnancy brings. I believe in the case of Janelle her mom did what was right. I as a grandmother would make it clear that after my son or daughter had a child they are no longer the primary focus, so i think Barbara, Janelle's mother was right in taking Jace away from her. i would allow Janelle to see her child if i were Barbara, but she would not be allowed to practice her terrible behaviors in front of the baby. This would just perpetuate the cycle of socialization. I think Barbara seen Jace as the priority and took him in because she seen that Janelle was not being a good mother.
As far as fatherhood and masculinity contradicting each, i can totally understand this idea. fatherhood in my opinion should be loving and gentle which negates masculinity. Yes fathers in much of society are seen as the breadwinners of families, they still have a fatherly obligation of loving their child and displaying that love by other means than finances. it is the role of a man to teach a man how to do manly things such as be a father. but this is hard when there are so many kids without father's around, leaving mothers to play that role to the best of their ability.
J'Quana Brown
I believe part of being a child is learning from your parents actions- good and bad. Who hasn’t said “WHEN I'M A PARENT I WILL NEVER DO THAT TO MY KID!” when in a state of rage? I think everything has a balance and part of being a parent is finding that balance. Being an extremist and letting your child experiment with drugs or being an extremist and controlling aspect of your child’s life can both lead to disaster. You have to be accepting that kids will be kids but not allow your child to walk all over you.
ReplyDeleteThere is no clear way to raise a child for a successful life. Twins raised together will still go their own way and have their own successes and failures.
As for Janelle’s mom, I was impressed she stood up and took responsibility for Jace. It was not her responsibility to raise Jace however she probably blames herself for Janelle’s shortcomings. And Janelle’s mom did kick Janelle out, just as I would. There is a baby with a growing mind in the house. Janelle will never learn to step up until she hits rock bottom and in order to hit it she cant be on the comfort of her couch or at a nightclub.
In regards to the fathers, I think I have an odd input because my dad is kinda…. perfect so I can’t think of any upgrades I would like. I do think it’s important for fathers to play a nurturing role in their child’s life and to not just be seen at the one who brings home the paycheck. Father’s needed to teach their children to respect women by respecting their wife and the children’s mother. I also think the father needs to be their financially for the child, not the mother, the C-H-I-L-D. I think ensuring the money was going to diapers instead of acrylic nails would help get child support paid.
And lastly, lets face it if mothers handed off the babies to the fathers, who didn’t share the bodily bond of childbearing, we would have WAAAAYYYYYYYY more Janelle parents in this world. In short, girls do it better. And by it I mean EVERYTHING.
Jean Carr